My favorite J.K. Rowling quote I am a big fan! |
But my illness has effected every part of my family and our finances. My daughter and son have stepped up and help in so many ways. Family and friends have contributed to the cause without which we would not have made it. I did get my disability and that was amazing in itself but I can definitely say I miss my job MONEY!! I MISS MY JOB! I wish this had never happened. But just another way of living. I'm not getting better just trying to figure out how to live with this and hope one day to wake up and be better.
My son has had to really step up and take care of me. Bless his heart. He has other things he could be doing. I don't drive and so he plays chauffeur and does a myriad other chores. He lost his job basically trying to take care of me. But he is very resourceful and instead of trying to find an outside job that he would have to explain taking off for doctor visits, etc. and take care of all he takes care of, he just became self employed. He just finished a temporary job that paid the house taxes and caught us up fairly well. He's also selling things on EBay. Are we getting rich? NO! But we are surviving and that's why I'm writing this blog today.
He's become a small business. A VERY small business but a business none the less. And it's a business that new technology and the Internet has made possible for those of us in Appalachia. It amazes me, though people argue about the cost to sell on EBay, the market you reach is just amazing. National and International. He just sold stuff we have laying around the house. One man's junk is another man's treasure kind of thing.
I'm very proud of my family and he's proud he can still work, take care of family and pay taxes so no one can call him a "moocher". For me it's a chance to teach him what I know about business that he doesn't. I lay in bed and teach him book keeping. Which I know when I go into "Brain Fog" mode is frustrating because I don't make sense to myself much less able to try to teach him what I know about forms and taxes. But we get there, though it is an ADVENTURE IN COMMUNICATIONS. If you've ever had someone with this illness, brain fog is one of the hardest things to explain or deal with. Takes much longer to accomplish a goal.
His actions gives me hope even for myself. I want to defeat this illness and if I can't defeat it find something I can do to still contribute to the common good, in the condition I am in. I may not be able to control this illness and have to juggle around good hours and bad minutes but I'm still alive and what I can do, I will do. It's a trip trying to plan dinner or a trip to the store much less working. But I am still trying to function.
But it is a different way to function. For example, two years ago before I became ill, I bought paint to paint the wrought iron on my porch. A job normally that could be finished in a day or two if I had to scrape old paint before painting. I decided I would get that job accomplished myself. No matter my illness I was going to do something. That job took me THREE WEEKS and it still needs another coat! I wouldn't let anyone help me and I did it. Sometimes with great pain but I did it.
But these things I try to accomplish lately all have taught me if I find a job in the shape I'm in, it has to be one NOT on a time table. One that you don't have to be quickly reliable, just get the job done..... eventually. In our fast pace world there not many of those out there that work on your bad health's time table. For someone who was very physically active and was "busier than a one legged woman in a butt kicking contest" it has been the worst part of this whole illness. The limitation that my body now has. I am on my third day of writing this and I hope with not too many mistakes.
But the internet may be my answer. May be my prayer and for others in Appalachia since we don't have much mass transit, it may be an answer to alot of things. My focus is getting my health better. Have more tests coming up and I swear the medicine is worse sometimes than the disease. But my son's new business is encourging and I can see maybe a little light shining in the tunnel.
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